Ted Carnahan

Jennifer was in the break room at work today when VH1 was showing “I love the 90s” for the year 1990. Apparently there was a show that ran for 11 episodes in 1990 called “Cop Rock.” This show fused a gritty television drama about police work with campy original musical scores to create the hideous love child of Cannibal: The Musical and Cops. (Another site describes it as “part ‘Real Stories of the Highway Patrol’ and part Broadway musical.”) It sounded too good to be true - at first I couldn’t believe that something this awful had actually been made, let alone broadcast.

Without further ado, I give you “Let’s Be Careful Out There.”

Dwell on this: Someone paid money to make this. Someone thought this was a good idea. Just let that sink in. There. That’s better.

Mothers be cryin’, man. Life in the hood really isn’t no piece of pie, is it?

If anyone can find me video of the purported scene where the courtroom jury turns into a Gospel choir singing “He’s Guilty!” I will give them $5.

I’ll be honest - I really didn’t care who won Super Bowl LXI, and the only reason I watched it was because it would be fun to spend some time this weekend with my parents munching on homemade pizza. But am I the only one who that that the Super Bowl was a Super Yawn?

The game’s true MVP was the Bears’ QB, Rex Grossman, who was clearly most valuable to the dominating Colts. The game was amusing because of all of the turnovers. (Yes, I understand that it was raining.) But the real question is: what’s with the (disturbing lack of good) commercials?

The truck assembling itself slowly in midair was pretty cool. Jennifer liked the Ford (?) car driving with one edge on city balconies. But there was a surprising lack of funny beer ads. Where was Pepsi, for crying out loud?! Coke ran a few new ones, but the longest time spots were dedicated to the Grand Theft Auto-themed commercial where everyone is singing and dancing because the character is drinking Coke. That’s great, but I don’t even own a television - I watch about an hour of television a week, tops - and I still have seen that commercial too many times. And this is what they’re paying $2M+ to run during the Super Bowl?

Billy Joel was an embarassment. He had serious flubs - did he even practice? Prince was… Prince. Fine. Not my thing, but fine. The halftime show was pretty tame, altogether. Maybe they were compensating for last year.

Altogether, this was a really boring Super Bowl.